A Blog Dedicated to my Unholy Love of Bad Horror, Sci-Fi & Fantasy

The Dark

Alternate Title: Silent Hill in Wales IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0411267/ Starring: Sean Bean and the mom from History of Violence Review: As we all know Sean Bean’s JOB is to die in movies. UNLESS he doesn’t. I can only name 2 off the top of my head where he live through to the end and it’s…

Read more
 

Perkins’ 14

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1230211/ Starring: The lead singer of The Misfits from 1997 and 2001. Yes really. No not Danzig, the other guy. I haven’t heard of anyone else in the cast. Review: I’m so tired of zombie movies. And in many ways, THIS is not a zombie movie. It is a zombie movie in all…

Read more
 

Awaken

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3367686/ Starring: Teen John Connor, Big Chris, the lead singer of The Cruisers & DARYL FUCKING HANNAH Review: This movie is just like Frozen. IF the run away sister in Frozen exchanged her power to control ice and snow for control of an illegal organ harvesting enterprise. But the lesson is the same…

Read more
 

Housebound

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3504048/ Starring: A bunch of New Zealanders Review: I was pleasantly surprised a few minutes into this movie to discover it was a horror comedy. By the end of the movie I was very pleased to have given it a chance. THIS is why I do what I do. This movie is a…

Read more
 

Killer Mermaid

Alternate Title: Nymph (Original Title: Mamula) IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3171764/ Starring: Kristina Klebe, Franco Nero, Natalie Burn, Dragan Micanovic, Zorana Kostic Obradovic, and numerous other Serbian actors Review: Two American women (aren’t they always?) go on a summer trip to Europe (don’t they always) to meet up with an old friend from college who happens to…

Read more
 

All Cheerleaders Die

Editor’s Note: The following statement from Jim was written at the top of the email I received. I had to review it. I was compelled by beings made of pure light, to warn the Earth, so that others might not. At the time, I feared this movie may have broken him. I leave it for…

Read more
 

Jack The Giant Slayer

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1351685/ Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Eleanor Tomlinson, Ewan McGregor, Stanley Tucci Review: Ewan McGregor channels Eddie Izzard’s recent look along with Cary Elwes’ suave style from The Princess Bride while Nicholas Hoult plays hero, overcomes a fear of heights, and throws down with several rowdy Manc giants in order to save Eleanor Tomlinson’s semi-hapless…

Read more
 

Blood Angels

Alternate Title: Thralls (in fact this is the title that runs in the opening credits) IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0404496/ Starring: Lorenzo Lamas (I know, I didn’t believe it, either), Leah Cairns, Siri Baruc Review: Lorenzo Lamas is a Full Vampire named Mr. Jones who has a bevy of beauties trapped in the White Room style attic…

Read more
 

The Yellow Wallpaper

DISCLAIMER: If you haven’t read The Yellow Wallpaper, stop and go read it now. Seriously. I’ll wait: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/1952/1952-h/1952-h.htm IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0790788/ Starring: The father from Troll and the woman who gets hexed by the Witches of Eastwick. (Arlo Givens from Justified has a cameo.) Review: It’s been a while since I’ve hated a movie enough…

Read more
 

The Bay

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1713476/ Starring: People I didn’t recognize and Cymothoa Exigua Review: I thought this was going to be a zombie movie. I also expected to NOT be impressed. I was wrong on both counts. Found footage rarely does it for me and I was dismayed when I realized this was a faux-documentary. HOWEVER, they…

Read more