Category: Kinda Crap

Killer Mermaid

Alternate Title: Nymph (Original Title: Mamula) IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3171764/ Starring: Kristina Klebe, Franco Nero, Natalie Burn, Dragan Micanovic, Zorana Kostic Obradovic, and numerous other Serbian actors Review: Two American women (aren’t they always?) go on a summer trip to Europe (don’t they always) to meet up with an old friend from college who happens to…

Read more
 

Twixt

DISCLAIMER: This was supposed to go up last week. Sorry about that. IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1756851/ Starring: Val Kilmer, Bruce Dern and Father Guido Sarducci ( credited as Don Novello). There is also a cameo by the legendary Tom Waits. Review: My crush on Val Kilmer when I saw Real Genius in the theater, so I…

Read more
 

Insidious

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1591095/ Starring: Patrick Wilson, Darth Maul & Danzig Review in a nutshell: I had heard this was a good one so I gave it a shot. And it had SO MUCH PROMISE. Decent pacing, interesting spirit antics, a family that MOVES out of a haunted house… At one point I said to my…

Read more
 

The Pact

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2040560/ Starring: Nobody you’ve ever heard of. Probably. No, wait, Casper Van Dien is in this. Review in a nutshell: I can’t believe how good this movie was… for what it is. Seriously. Netflix had it at 2.5 stars, and I gave it 3. That’s a HUGE difference when talking about low budget…

Read more
 

Last Kind Words

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1745740/ Starring: Brad Dourif, some adults, some teenagers and a dog. Review in a nutshell: This is a ghost story about redneck stereotypes that brings WHOLE new meaning to dating from the family tree. First off, if you don’t know who Brad Dourif is by name, trust me you know him by face….

Read more
 

The Ward

Alternate Title: John Carpenter’s The Ward IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1369706/ Starring: Jared Haris (aka Dr, Moriarty), Meryl Streep’s daughter Mamie, and a bunch of other people who pay the bills making B movies Review in a nutshell: I needed a break from the crap I’ve been watching and when I saw this was crap made by…

Read more
 

Stakeland

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1464580/ Starring: People who have had to find work since they stopped filming the original Law & Order. Review in a nutshell: In this day and age scary / gross vampires are a treat, but when they’re dumb it might as well be a zombie movie. So yeah this was basically a zombie…

Read more
 

Jack’s Back

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095389/ Starring: James Spader, Cynthia Gibb and one of favorite character actors: Robert Picardo Review in a nutshell: I can’t believe I had never seen this movie before! If I had seen this as a teenager I would have called it a classic of western cinema. Now it was just “pretty good” for…

Read more
 

Strigoi

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1117636/ Starring: Lots of Romanians. Review in a nutshell: This one is a little slow, and NOT an action movie, but I was pleasantly surprised. First off, any vampire movie that doesn’t glorify the undead gets brownie points in my book. Secondly, it’s really a movie about how Romanians feel about communism and…

Read more