This isn’t a spoiler warning. This is a promise. I’m going to spoil these movies for you so you NEVER have to watch them. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it. I’m going to thrown myself on the bad movie grenade. Go watch something critically acclaimed with subtitles or something.
DO NOT WATCH THESE MOVIES.
Unless you really want to.
Or I tell you it’s not that bad.
Or you’re a glutton for punishment.
Just don’t blame me.
Go forth and read my “reviews”…