Total Crap

Evil Aliens

June 18, 2017 Jim Total Crap

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0383353/ Starring: Emily Booth, Jamie Honeybourne, Sam Butler Review: Sensationalist “paranormal investigator” Michelle “Foxy” Fox and her crew go on site to a remote Welsh Island. They stage numerous alien hoaxes, hoping to

Awaken

February 21, 2016 Jenn SG Total Crap

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3367686/ Starring: Teen John Connor, Big Chris, the lead singer of The Cruisers & DARYL FUCKING HANNAH Review: This movie is just like Frozen. IF the run away sister in Frozen exchanged her

The Factory

September 6, 2013 Jenn SG Total Crap

DISCLAIMER: I had a hard time rating this movie. I settled on “Total Crap” instead of “Epic Crap” because I’d actually be willing to watch some of the “epic crap” movies again for their comedic

Rise Of The Zombies

August 2, 2013 Jim Total Crap

DISCLAIMER: Our first Guest Post! IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2236182/ Starring: LeVar Burton, Danny Trejo, Mariel Hemmingway, French Stewart, No one else of any import Review in a nutshell: Actors are people, too. They gotta eat. Ask

Madhouse

July 12, 2013 Jenn SG Total Crap

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0363276/ Starring: Starring Lance Henriksen, the first victim from The Blair Witch Project, and Francis from Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure Review in a nutshell: Ok, so this movie had a few interesting moments set

Exit Humanity

July 5, 2013 Jenn SG Total Crap

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1781812/ Starring: Brian Cox’s voice and Bill Mosely Review in a nutshell: This period piece zombie movie was a train wreck. Bad science, bad acting, bad history, bad animation to save on special

Beneath Loch Ness

June 21, 2013 Jenn SG Total Crap

Alternate Title: The Evil Beneath Loch Ness IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0256155/ Starring: Patrick Bergen, an Irishman, who has actually been in some good movies, and the guy who plays Tank Girl’s boyfriend who gets shot up

Dragon Fighter

June 7, 2013 Jenn SG Total Crap

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0312640/ Starring: Superboy, Dean Cain Review in a nutshell: This movie was so bad I’m not bothering with a review. Here are my notes from while I sat through this shit. Another dragon

The Rig

May 31, 2013 Jenn SG Total Crap

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1093906/ Starring: William Forsythe (you’ll know him when you see him), ArtLaFleur (him too) and a Sean Bean wannabe Review in a nutshell: This is a movie about brotherly love. It is also

Half Light

May 10, 2013 Jenn SG Total Crap

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0412798/ Starring: Demi Moore, James Cosmo (again!) and a ton of authentic British accents Review in a nutshell: Here’s the good news. Demi Moore is playing an AMERICAN author and I wasn’t stuck