The Bay

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1713476/

Starring: People I didn’t recognize and Cymothoa Exigua

Review: I thought this was going to be a zombie movie. I also expected to NOT be impressed. I was wrong on both counts.

Found footage rarely does it for me and I was dismayed when I realized this was a faux-documentary. HOWEVER, they used a variety of different camera types to create the different perspectives of the various characters: : cell phones, Skype calls, security video, police car cameras. Rather than follow one set of people through an event this movie is a documentary pieced together by a survivor trying to prove her story. So while the science behind the movie is questionable, I thought this added a level of realism other found footage movies lack.

Now let’s get to the science. Just before this movie came out I started seeing article about Cymothoa Exiguaor, or the tongue-eating louse. The real world is a fucked up place ladies and gentleman, and a small crustacean that eats fishes tongues and replaced it with ITSELF. So somebody out there found that to be as horrifying as I do and thought “Let’s make a movie about giant louses and let people wonder if it was the radiation or the steroids that were to blame. THEN let’s make these things jump out of dead bodies occasionally. That sounds like a horror movie right?”

And they were right. I know this scenario isn’t likely. It doesn’t matter. I cringed when they wanted me to cringe and jumped when they wanted me to jump. There was no mind control. People weren’t zombified. They were sick and in pain and so were their loved ones. Half dead people wandering the street were delirious and looking for help, not brains to eat.

Where I found it: I watched it on Netflix but I’d had my eye on it since I saw the first preview.

How much I paid for it: 84 minutes of movie viewing and maybe another hour of being grossed out

Points of interest: Barry Levinson is partially responsible for this and he’s from the state where this takes place. ‘

The Money Shot: The camera pans past “Miss Crustacean” and she is wearing a crab hat. Nothing tops the laughter generated by the image of beauty queen with crabs in her hair.

Related Links:
The Stuff My Nightmares Are Made Of

Jenn SG
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