DISCLAIMER: I had a hard time rating this movie. I settled on “Total Crap” instead of “Epic Crap” because I’d actually be willing to watch some of the “epic crap” movies again for their comedic value. or at least watch OTHER people watch them and laugh at their reactions.
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1132285/
Starring: Lane Meyer and Debra Morgan
Review in a nutshell: THIS MOVIE IS FUCKED UP.
Did you get that? FUCKED. UP.
You want details? No. NO YOU DON’T. But you’re getting them anyway.
Long story short is serial killer has a baby factory in his basement. What’s a baby factory? Well it’s a room full of kidnapped prostitutes that the killer married by welding a wedding band to their finger. In order to stay alive these women have to submit to their captor and get pregnant. AND if they don’t try hard enough to get pregnant they die.
So our hero’s pregnant teenager gets mistaken for a prostitute and kidnapped by the dude. She sees horrible things. Dad comes to save her and finds out the his partner is teamed up with the dude because she’s baby crazy. The daughter gets free, the dude dies, the hero dies and the partner gets away with three babies. (Maybe, credits roll right when daughter is making the “Hey WAITAMINUTE face.”)
It’s seriously one very long awful episode of Law & Order: SVU. One of the ones where neither Stabler nor Tutuola gets to kick the ever loving shit out of a bad guy. It might technically be a good movie, in that it’s well made and the acting isn’t bad. The crew did something right because this movie certainly hit a nerve. Yet, it’s just NOT a good story. It relies way too much of the shock factor and less would have absolutely been more in this case.
Where I found it: Netflix
How much I paid for it: TOO MUCH
Points of interest: The killer’s baby making ritual involves an old black and white cartoon and happy baby making music.
The Money Shot: NO.
Related Links:
Lane Meyer
Debra Morgan
Law & Order: SVU (Special Victims Unit)
I love bad movies. LOVE them. I have several definitions of bad, but it all comes down to “bad on purpose” and “bad by accident”.
I will watch it if:
it can be described as science fiction, fantasy, or horror (Sometimes I will watch action comedy but these are less likely.)
it is described as a mystery or thriller and a serial killer is mentioned in the description.
it has less than three stars on Netflix
the cast includes Ron Perlman, Rutger Hauer, Henry Rollins, Bill Mosely, Bruce Campbell, Clancy Brown or Malcolm McDowell
Lovecraft, Cthulu or Dragons are mentioned in the title, tag line or box art.
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