The Tattooist

IMDB link:

Starring: Jason Behr and a bunch of people from New Zealand

Review in a nutshell: I don’t know if this movie is culturally sensitive or not and I don’t care. And the body modification community doesn’t have to worry about this movie putting weird stereotypes in people’s heads. (And not because no one has seen this movie.) Doesn’t matter, I don’t care.

The plot of this movie has been recycled so many times that there was very little they could do to make it interesting. It was like watching a decent episode of Tales from the Crypt than anything else. So boring it is almost easy to forget. Almost.

But we’re not going to talk about that here. We’re going to talk about my favorite character in this movie. We’re going to talk about the pudgy Samoan gangster kid who sees dead people.

The first time we set eyes on the gangster kid he is giving advice to our hero in a flea market. He’s maybe about 12, wearing a baseball bat and a hoody and he tells hero dude that “just because you don’t see anybody doesn’t mean nobody is there.” Then his cousins come pick him up in their ridiculous car and he sweetly waves goodbye (or possibly goodluck) to hero dude.

The second time we meet gangster kid, he’s helping out in the church office where the love interest works. And he gives hero dude this amazing look, that to me says “DUDE! Did you NOT listen to me? There is a spirit following you around! Go do something about that!” He makes eye contact with the hero, then looks over his shoulder and back a few times to emphasize his point.

We get one more moment with the kid at the very end. But it wasn’t enough. So if you ever Google yourself Matailiili Denzel Tuimaunga, I sincerely hope you see this and know that I thought you did a great job and made this movie awesome. And if you aren’t the person who played the character I’m talking about.. well sorry but IMDB is only so helpful.

Where I found it: Crackle (It had been on my Netflix Instant list but it appears to have expired.)

How much I paid for it: Nada BUT Crackle has commercials. No editing or censorship BS like TV, but you have to sit through the same three commercials every 20 minutes or so.

Points of interest: A number of cast from the movie were extras in the Lord of the Rings movies because New Zealand.

The Money Shot: Every scene with pudgy gangster kid.

Jenn SG
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