IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1591095/
Starring: Patrick Wilson, Darth Maul & Danzig
Review in a nutshell: I had heard this was a good one so I gave it a shot. And it had SO MUCH PROMISE. Decent pacing, interesting spirit antics, a family that MOVES out of a haunted house… At one point I said to my husband “The spirits in this one are tricksy. I approve.” The messed with people during broad daylight!
Then about 75% of the way through it lost me.
Basically, astral projection is bad m’kay? You could get lost. The kid in this movie got lost and all the spirits yelled “HEY! SEATING UPGRADE!” and made a move towards his empty body. One of the spirits was Glenn Danzig er, I mean a long haired fiend in a leather jacket. Another was an extra from Newsies who is a fan on Tiny Tim. And apparently Darth Maul was pissed about dying in the first of the prequels and tried to make a come back in this one as a demon. The demon character is ALSO a fan of Tiny Tim.
To save the day, Grandma calls a psychic who likes to wear gas masks during seances. This was a good thing because in my opinion the gas mask improved her performance. It was most likely a problem with the material written for her – getting cast as the person who has to explain everything to the audience doesn’t give you room for much interpretation.
Then they send Daddy, a complete N00B at astral projection, to go into Lovecraft’s Dreamlands.. um I mean THE FURTHER to rescue the kid. He wanders around in the dark until he finds a set from The Golden Child where the demon is listening to Tiny Tim again. This whole sequence ruined the movie for me. I go the distinct impression they were trying to be disturbing, but they were using cliché, beaten into paste imagery. A demon with cats eyes and cloven hooves… my, how ordinary…
The saving grace of this movie is the bickering Ghost Buster duo. I love them. Maybe not as much as I love pudgy Samoan gangster kid, but they’re up there. We’ve got the artsy guy who transcribes and draws for the psychic and the techie guy. They’re both total nerds, complete with action figure joke. However while they do add some comic relief to the movie, they’re written as basically good guys who are dedicated to their work. They’re a little awkward and compete with each other but they’re much smarter than Supernatural’s Ghostfacers.
Where I found it: MGO via my Roku
How much I paid for it: 103 minutes and a free movie rental
Points of interest: I didn’t realize this was directed by the Saw guy until I read the trivia but I’m not surprised.
The Money Shot: It’s totally when one of the Ghostbuster guys is using his special light spectrum View-Master and sees two ghosts in the corner.
My Favorite Line: Star Fleet Series One. It’s hard to find. You should have kept it in its box.
Related Links:
Darth Maul Demon
Long Haired Fiend – This video is about as creepy as the end of Insidious.
Tiny Tim Tiptoe Through the Tulips – In some ways this is creepier than the whole movie.
Newsies – Possibly even scarier than Danzig singing Tiptoe Through the Tulips
Lovecraft’s Dream Cycle
Pudgy Samoan gangster kid
Fisher Price View Master
The Golden Child
Ghostfacers
I love bad movies. LOVE them. I have several definitions of bad, but it all comes down to “bad on purpose” and “bad by accident”.
I will watch it if:
it can be described as science fiction, fantasy, or horror (Sometimes I will watch action comedy but these are less likely.)
it is described as a mystery or thriller and a serial killer is mentioned in the description.
it has less than three stars on Netflix
the cast includes Ron Perlman, Rutger Hauer, Henry Rollins, Bill Mosely, Bruce Campbell, Clancy Brown or Malcolm McDowell
Lovecraft, Cthulu or Dragons are mentioned in the title, tag line or box art.
- Midsommar - January 28, 2020
- Slender Man - March 4, 2019
- The Unnamable - March 2, 2019