IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1781812/
Starring: Brian Cox’s voice and Bill Mosely
Review in a nutshell: This period piece zombie movie was a train wreck. Bad science, bad acting, bad history, bad animation to save on special effects and makeup, bad makeup that washes off when zombies are in water…
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I saw that this was distributed in the US by a company called Bloody Disgusting. But I did expect it to be bloodier and more disgusting. I stuck with it through the end because I was promised some Bill Mosely. And Bill Mosely I DID get, but not enough to make this movie worth it. He played a power hungry general who wanted to find a cure to the zombie disease so he could reshape society as he saw fit. And he was going to do this with 4 guys and a drunken doctor who didn’t think zombies could be cured.
Eventually our hero figures out he can defeat the general after reading a scroll, putting on face paint and yelling in a field. This brings a horde of zombies to him that he then leads in an attack on the general’s hole in the ground to save the damsel in distress.
The high point of the whole thing is that Brian Cox’s narration of this snooze-fest was actually better than it needed to be. Except for when he mispronounces plague as plaque. Because there is no way the sentence in question ended in a wall sign or something you scrape off teeth.
Where I found it: Netflix
How much I paid for it: 114 minutes of time I could have been napping
Points of interest: So if I followed the exposition correctly, a little old lady brought on the plague by bringing her dead sister back to life using scrolls that say this has been going on for 250 years and started in Africa.
The Money Shot: The hero DOES get pulled into a river by a zombie playing ‘gator. That was fun.
My Favorite Line: You coulda drawn some titties in there if you don’t mind my saying.
Related Links:
Bloody Disgusting Selects
I love bad movies. LOVE them. I have several definitions of bad, but it all comes down to “bad on purpose” and “bad by accident”.
I will watch it if:
it can be described as science fiction, fantasy, or horror (Sometimes I will watch action comedy but these are less likely.)
it is described as a mystery or thriller and a serial killer is mentioned in the description.
it has less than three stars on Netflix
the cast includes Ron Perlman, Rutger Hauer, Henry Rollins, Bill Mosely, Bruce Campbell, Clancy Brown or Malcolm McDowell
Lovecraft, Cthulu or Dragons are mentioned in the title, tag line or box art.
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