The Keep

IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085780/

Starring: Scott Glen, Jürgen Prochnow, Gabriel Byrne, & Ian McKellen (oh and Robert Prosky who I promise you’ll recognize)

Review in a nutshell: The following is my running commentary on Facebook as I watched this.

  • This appears to be a Nazi occult movie.
  • Ian McKellen is in this????
  • Omg, the Tangerine Dream soundtrack is hilariously inappropriate.
  • Scott Glenn is in this too.
  • And Gabriel Byrne has joined us as Jürgen Prochnow’s superior officer.
  • I officially have no idea what the fuck this movie is about.
  • And the devil said unto Gandalf, take my sacred flashlight into the forest and hide it. And I shall make sure your soundtrack is bitchin’.
  • Only during the 80’s would blue checkerboard contacts seem like a good idea for an angel.

Think Krull meets Legend and Raiders of the Lost Ark. There were some really interesting concepts hiding behind all the crap, so I went and read the book. The idea of a Jewish historian needing to choose between Nazis and an evil creature seemed to have the makings of a good story. And it did. I don’t know why they left the good stuff out of the movie.

I’m also not sure why they decided to make this movie about a golem and not a vampire. The book is pretty clear on that front.

Where I found it: Netflix

How much I paid for it: 96 minutes of my life and possibly my sanity.

Points of interest: According to IMDB, Tangerine Dream (who did the soundtrack) and Michael Mann are working together to keep this from being released on DVD. I heartily support this decision.

The Money Shot: Sir Ian’s final monologue can be summed up as “YOU SHALL NOT HAZ!”

Jenn SG
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