IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085780/
Starring: Scott Glen, Jürgen Prochnow, Gabriel Byrne, & Ian McKellen (oh and Robert Prosky who I promise you’ll recognize)
Review in a nutshell: The following is my running commentary on Facebook as I watched this.
- This appears to be a Nazi occult movie.
- Ian McKellen is in this????
- Omg, the Tangerine Dream soundtrack is hilariously inappropriate.
- Scott Glenn is in this too.
- And Gabriel Byrne has joined us as Jürgen Prochnow’s superior officer.
- I officially have no idea what the fuck this movie is about.
- And the devil said unto Gandalf, take my sacred flashlight into the forest and hide it. And I shall make sure your soundtrack is bitchin’.
- Only during the 80’s would blue checkerboard contacts seem like a good idea for an angel.
Think Krull meets Legend and Raiders of the Lost Ark. There were some really interesting concepts hiding behind all the crap, so I went and read the book. The idea of a Jewish historian needing to choose between Nazis and an evil creature seemed to have the makings of a good story. And it did. I don’t know why they left the good stuff out of the movie.
I’m also not sure why they decided to make this movie about a golem and not a vampire. The book is pretty clear on that front.
Where I found it: Netflix
How much I paid for it: 96 minutes of my life and possibly my sanity.
Points of interest: According to IMDB, Tangerine Dream (who did the soundtrack) and Michael Mann are working together to keep this from being released on DVD. I heartily support this decision.
The Money Shot: Sir Ian’s final monologue can be summed up as “YOU SHALL NOT HAZ!”
I love bad movies. LOVE them. I have several definitions of bad, but it all comes down to “bad on purpose” and “bad by accident”.
I will watch it if:
it can be described as science fiction, fantasy, or horror (Sometimes I will watch action comedy but these are less likely.)
it is described as a mystery or thriller and a serial killer is mentioned in the description.
it has less than three stars on Netflix
the cast includes Ron Perlman, Rutger Hauer, Henry Rollins, Bill Mosely, Bruce Campbell, Clancy Brown or Malcolm McDowell
Lovecraft, Cthulu or Dragons are mentioned in the title, tag line or box art.
- Midsommar - January 28, 2020
- Slender Man - March 4, 2019
- The Unnamable - March 2, 2019