IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1398428/
Starring: Nobody of interest, except maybe the chick who was in Smallville.
Review in a nutshell: Don’t. Just. Don’t.
Here’s a quick summary if you don’t believe me. A bunch of hipsters go for a hike in the forest and a few days in really loud big band music starts playing and no one can find the source. They’re inundated with loud music on and off for a few more days and eventually everyone goes insane and / or dies. Also, there are frequent Wizard of Oz references.
Where I found it: Netflix
How much I paid for it: 98 minutes of my sanity.
Points of interest: I seriously can’t even start to explain why this movie exists. Best I came up with was someone thought a “Blair Wicked Witch of the North Project” would be cool and edgy.
The Money Shot: I’m torn between two moments. Choice A) The moment where the 1st character to go nuts pulls his sister’s leg off with his bare hands. While she’s awake and screaming. Choice B) When everyone is angry at the intern for eating their entire candy stash, she walks off the edge of a cliff without even a moment of hesitation. It looked a lot like the princess from a Mario game missed a jump and I wanted the sound effects to match that.
I love bad movies. LOVE them. I have several definitions of bad, but it all comes down to “bad on purpose” and “bad by accident”.
I will watch it if:
it can be described as science fiction, fantasy, or horror (Sometimes I will watch action comedy but these are less likely.)
it is described as a mystery or thriller and a serial killer is mentioned in the description.
it has less than three stars on Netflix
the cast includes Ron Perlman, Rutger Hauer, Henry Rollins, Bill Mosely, Bruce Campbell, Clancy Brown or Malcolm McDowell
Lovecraft, Cthulu or Dragons are mentioned in the title, tag line or box art.
- Midsommar - January 28, 2020
- Slender Man - March 4, 2019
- The Unnamable - March 2, 2019
I liked it.
Your email address makes me think you’re biased! 😉
But seriously, reviews are opinions and I don’t expect everyone to agree with me.
This movie was epic artsy crap which is the worst kind of crap because it is not aware that it’s crap and then fools unsuspecting hipsters into thinking that it’s awesome. Great review!
What kills me is that they keep making this movie! Stupid people travelling towards a thing, dying along the way and we never really find out why. I’ve started to give some movies more points just for having half assed explanations at the end.