IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1480656/
Starring: Robert “I Sparkle” Pattinson
Review in a nutshell: This movie is…odd. Odd can sometimes be good. This time it was not.
It is also really boring porn. Seriously. This guy has sex so many times in his 100ish minutes of screen time I was staring to wonder if Cronenburg had hired a fluffer.
I couldn’t tell if anyone was acting well because this script is soooo Cronenberg. I certainly didn’t have a damn clue what was going on. I never even REALLY figured out if it counted as science fiction. I’d tell you more, but it’s not worth it. There are movies out there that don’t make sense that are at least interesting. Cronenberg made many of them. I recommend watching one of those instead.
Where I found it: Netflix
How much I paid for it: 109 minutes that could have been spent on a bad movie with explosions.
Points of interest: There is absolutely NO resolution to the “plot” at the end. NONE
The Money Shot: It’s gotta be the rectal exam in the limo. (Oh yes, you read that right.) This is the scene that earned Cosmopolis the rating of Epic Crap.
Related Links:
Definition of “fluffer”
David Cronenberg
Sparkly Vampire with no shirt on
I love bad movies. LOVE them. I have several definitions of bad, but it all comes down to “bad on purpose” and “bad by accident”.
I will watch it if:
it can be described as science fiction, fantasy, or horror (Sometimes I will watch action comedy but these are less likely.)
it is described as a mystery or thriller and a serial killer is mentioned in the description.
it has less than three stars on Netflix
the cast includes Ron Perlman, Rutger Hauer, Henry Rollins, Bill Mosely, Bruce Campbell, Clancy Brown or Malcolm McDowell
Lovecraft, Cthulu or Dragons are mentioned in the title, tag line or box art.
- Midsommar - January 28, 2020
- Slender Man - March 4, 2019
- The Unnamable - March 2, 2019
One Tree Hill (Season 3) – Wikiquote
Hey is there a specific quote you meant to post? I’m dying of curiosity…