IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0312640/
Starring: Superboy, Dean Cain
Review in a nutshell: This movie was so bad I’m not bothering with a review. Here are my notes from while I sat through this shit.
Another dragon that burns shit down but doesn’t eat people? ugh
Let’s shoot flaming arrows at the dragon. That will surely work.
OMG, it’s the Lamp guy from The Rig! (He’s a scientist this time.)
Not even 10 minutes in and I’ve seen bad CGI and possibly a rubber dragon suit…
The director must be a gamer… and / or a Tarantino fan.
Evil Russian military dude: check
Evil scientist with name that sounds like dragon: check
Underground laboratory: CHECK
Dean Cain’s character is the only intelligent person in this crew of scientists. Either that or he’s the only person who read the script.
At least this movie has puppies.
oh yeah, this guy is a gamer…
OOOOO, drunken cloning technician!
And an inconveniently timed explosion and loss of all communications.
AND she’s off…
I always notice that bad actors make unnatural hand gestures when pretending to be agitated.
Fully grown cloned dragon in three hours: CHECK
Evil Russian military dude: UNCHECK
Also, in case you were wondering, the token black guy wasn’t really the first casualty. But he was the first casualty with a speaking role. He has also never seen Aliens.
Dragons are warm blooded and need air conditioning? Seriously?
Wait, why did the deaf cook just take off ear buds????
The deaf cook isn’t deaf because they were only hiring people with disabilities.
DRAGONCAM!
Flying away from a dragon in a helicopter. What could go wrong?
Fighter planes can’t lock onto organic objects?
Quote: Ok, yes I know. It’s a dragon. Now lock on it and blow that thing off my tail.
Ok, SO coating a dragon in helicopter fuel and setting it on fire makes it non-organic?
Where I found it: Netflix
How much I paid for it: 85 minutes
Points of interest: The writer / director has a pretty epic IMDB biography.
The Money Shot: Dean Cain’s character threatens to cut off the drunken dude’s hand for his security clearance.
Related Links:
Phillip J. Roth
My Review of The Rig
The Lamp Guy from The Rig
I love bad movies. LOVE them. I have several definitions of bad, but it all comes down to “bad on purpose” and “bad by accident”.
I will watch it if:
it can be described as science fiction, fantasy, or horror (Sometimes I will watch action comedy but these are less likely.)
it is described as a mystery or thriller and a serial killer is mentioned in the description.
it has less than three stars on Netflix
the cast includes Ron Perlman, Rutger Hauer, Henry Rollins, Bill Mosely, Bruce Campbell, Clancy Brown or Malcolm McDowell
Lovecraft, Cthulu or Dragons are mentioned in the title, tag line or box art.
- Midsommar - January 28, 2020
- Slender Man - March 4, 2019
- The Unnamable - March 2, 2019